Winter's Coming - Make sure you are Politically Correct.
We received about 2 inches of snow yesterday and around 8:00 A.M. I made a snowman.
At 8:10, a feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
At 8:15, I made a snow woman.
At 8:17, my feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest, saying that it objectified women everywhere.
At 8:20, the gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned that it could have been two snowmen instead.
At 8:22, the transgender man-woman-person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
At 8:25, the vegans at the end of the street complained about the carrot nose, since veggies are food and should not be used to decorate snow figures.
At 8:28, I was called a racist because the snow couple is white.
At 8:30, I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
At 8:37, I was accused of putting a black face on the snowperson.
At 8:39, the middle eastern man across the street demanded that the snow woman be completely covered.
At 8:40, the police arrived, saying that someone had been offended.
At 8:42, the feminist neighbor complained that the snow woman's broomstick needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
At 8:43, the 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
At 8:45, a news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snow-women. I replied, "Snowballs" and I am now considered to be a sexist.
At 9:00, I appeared on the TV news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and a sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
At 9:10, I was asked if I had any accomplices. My children were taken away by social services.
At 9:30, leftist protesters offended by everything marched down the street and demanded that I be arrested.
At 9:45, my boss called and fired me because of my negative association with work that had been all over social media.
At 10:00, I cried into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman.
There isn't a moral to this story. It's what this world has become because of snowflakes!
We received about 2 inches of snow yesterday and around 8:00 A.M. I made a snowman.
At 8:10, a feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
At 8:15, I made a snow woman.
At 8:17, my feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest, saying that it objectified women everywhere.
At 8:20, the gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned that it could have been two snowmen instead.
At 8:22, the transgender man-woman-person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
At 8:25, the vegans at the end of the street complained about the carrot nose, since veggies are food and should not be used to decorate snow figures.
At 8:28, I was called a racist because the snow couple is white.
At 8:30, I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
At 8:37, I was accused of putting a black face on the snowperson.
At 8:39, the middle eastern man across the street demanded that the snow woman be completely covered.
At 8:40, the police arrived, saying that someone had been offended.
At 8:42, the feminist neighbor complained that the snow woman's broomstick needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
At 8:43, the 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
At 8:45, a news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snow-women. I replied, "Snowballs" and I am now considered to be a sexist.
At 9:00, I appeared on the TV news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and a sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
At 9:10, I was asked if I had any accomplices. My children were taken away by social services.
At 9:30, leftist protesters offended by everything marched down the street and demanded that I be arrested.
At 9:45, my boss called and fired me because of my negative association with work that had been all over social media.
At 10:00, I cried into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman.
There isn't a moral to this story. It's what this world has become because of snowflakes!